The Inquisitor's Fanfiction
by JuneLuxray2
Summary: The Inquisitor was always secretly a fan of Hard in Hightown, and Varric finds out via a gift from an old templar friend of the Inquisitor's. One-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**I am in Dragon Age hell because of my older sister. I am now replaying Origins again and it is all your fault, big sister. I hope you're happy. This isn't an Origins story, but I had this idea and wanted to write it out anyways.**

Dawn Trevelyan shivered slightly as she stepped out into the main hall of Skyhold, the air still being slowly warmed by the morning sun. She hadn't a clue how many of her companions were up yet, judging by the quiet, low murmuring of just-awoken visiting dignitaries. She closed her door behind her slowly, gently, a quiet thud resulting. She yawned again and walked past several doors, mind on a cup of hot coffee in the tavern- recently they had started serving it, and she developed a taste for it.

Again she glanced about the vast hall, blinking a bit before stopping, raising an eyebrow. Varric was already up, though his hair was still a mess as he sat down in one of the chairs by the fire place. He occasionally lifted a mug next to him and drank as he silently read what appeared to be a manuscript, with a disturbingly wide grin, eyes trailing along the paper.

She past him to the door. "Morning, Varric." she said groggily as she passed.

"Morning, Inquisitor." Varric replied. She paused momentarily, squinting at the manuscript.

"Whatcha reading? One of your manuscripts?" she inquired. Varric stifled a laugh.

"Actually, it's one of _yours_." he stated, with the biggest shit-eating grin Dawn had ever seen. She blinked again in confusion, and Varric flipped back to the front- and Dawn felt her blood go cold, her heart freeze. It was titled _Donnen and The Circle of Magi_. She made a disturbing squeal as she bit her lip, holding in a scream.

The Inquisitor reached to snatch it out of his hands, but the dwarf lifted it away and held his other hand up. "Ah, excuse me, Inquisitor," Varric said cheerfully, "I believe this is mine. Your templar friend, Anna, in Ostwick sent this to me this morning as a gift."

"Son of a-" She moaned. "I thought she forgot about that bet! _I_ forgot about that bet!"

"Oh, please clarify, I need to hear the story behind this bet." Varric said, beaming. "I mean, she sent me your fanfiction. _Fanfiction_. Of _my_ story, that _you_ wrote."

Dawn turned a bright red. "Okay, so when I was nineteen and Anna was twenty, we were sharing...that piece of literature that should be burned." She made another high-pitched squeal of humiliation. "We made a bet that I would be First-Enchanter in seven years, and she would Knight-Captain in six years. We each bet we would be wrong, and the loser would have to send Varric Tethras their...work. We both shared our work." Varric's shit-eating grin only got larger, and the Herald glared at him. "Hey, life in the Circle can be boring, we had to take our entertainment where we could get it, alright? So we..wrote and shared our literature."

Varric laughed. "Well, you lost, and she sent me the fanfiction. I've got to say, Inquisitor, it's good. You could use a little work on grammar, but I am completely flattered."

She scowled. "Ha ha. _Please_, give it to me so I can dispose of it."

"Not a chance!" Varric exclaimed, feigning shock. "Remove this literary _masterpiece_ from the world? I think not. Also, I need it to stroke my ego when I write. If I'm ever feeling bad about my story, I can just look at this and remember that I'm a good enough writer to get fanfiction. This is the greatest day of my life." He bit back a snicker. "Not just that, but it's fanfiction...from the _Inquisitor_. The Herald of Andraste herself. I couldn't ask for a greater gift."

"You're hilarious." Dawn grumbled, glaring at him. Varric chuckled and smiled at her.

"Why didn't you tell me you were such a big fan of_ Hard in Hightown_? I could have let you peek at some of the drafts I have for the next book before I sent it to my editor." he asked. Dawn shook her head, scowling.

"You're joking, right? When I met you, I had to use all my willpower not to act like a giant nerd! I mean, there was a hole in the sky, a mark on my hand, demons everywhere, and then suddenly my favorite author." She grimaced. "I had to play it cool, Varric! And then after that I was too embarrassed to mention I was a fan..."

Varric shrugged. "So...that must have been an even weirder day for you than I thought. In any case, you were afraid of looking like a nerd...in front of _me_?" He gasped. "Be still, my heart. I'm honored, Inquisitor," he said, "I mean it. And please, let me keep this fanfiction. Do you have any other pieces? I _need_ them."

"Oh, _no_," Dawn scowled, "I am _not_ going to be sharing any more of my...work with you."

"Come on! _Please_?" Varric pleaded, pouting. "I'm writing another _Hard in Hightown_ and I _promise_ to share the manuscript with you if you give me a copy of your other fanfiction!"

The Inquisitor bit her lip. The struggle was real, and so was the red covered her face. Finally, she let out a groan. "_Fine_. You've got a deal, but if you share it or talk about it with anyone-"

"Hey, my lips are sealed, Inquisitor." The grin returned to Varric. "But are you_ sure _I can't share it with Hawke? I swear, it would only be her, too!"

"No! I can't look like a nerd in front of Hawke, too!"

"It would brighten her day in Weisshaupt! _Please_?" Varric made the most pathetic puppy-eyes at Dawn, and soon she caved, groaning loudly.

"You're lucky I like you, Varric. But no one else, I swear. I'll...do something to you!"

"Oh, _no_! Not _something_!" He shook the Inquisitor's hand. "You're good, Inquisitor. Also, might I remind you, if you're still mad, that your friend lost the bet, too? She's not the Knight-Captain. That means she owes me fanfiction. I intend to send her a letter demanding it."

"Since when do you care so much about this bet?"

"Since both of you lost and I get all of this fanfiction! This works out excellently for me!" Varric opened up the fanfiction again. "I need to finish reading this first, though. I'm hooked."

Dawn sighed loudly, which Varric did not heed or acknowledge. She turned the door next to the fireplace, deciding to take the long way around to the tavern. The mage didn't even have a chance to put her hand on the doorknob before it opened for her, and Dorian was waiting on the other side, arms crossed as the door swung open, beaming at her.

"I want a copy." he stated firmly. She glared at him.

"No! Were you listening in?"

"Of course! Now, come along, Inquisitor," Dorian said, throwing an arm over her shoulder, "I'm your best friend. You can make an exception for your best friend. Let's discuss this over the piss-poor tavern coffee. I'm buying."

"Dorian-"

"Let's go! We need to discuss your fanfiction!" Dorian exclaimed, walking off with her.

"You don't even care about _Hard in Hightown_!" she protested.

"_You _wrote_ fanfiction_! I _have_ to read it." Dorian replied.

She grumbled and muttered in response as Dorian happily walked with her. Varric continued to read. He wryly smiled at the work, forever happy with the knowledge that his books were good enough to elicit fanfiction.


	2. Chapter 2

**I had this sitting in my drafts for awhile and finally finished it. I was having Dragon Age feels because I finished DA2 again. **

**For your listening/viewing pleasure, when Cullen's "stupid laugh" aka nerd laugh is referred to, please view FluffyNinjaLlama's on Youtube's"Dragon Age: Inquisition - Playing Wicked Grace (and getting Cullen naked in the process) version 1, and skip to 3:02 for Cullen nerd laugh. I still cannot get over Cullen's nerd laugh.**

"Inquisitor? A word?"

Dawn looked up from her desk as Cassandra approached, hands behind her back; it was a box, from what the Herald could make out. Cassandra was red in the face, and Dawn raised an eyebrow. "What can I do for you?" she asked. The seeker cleared her throat.

"I am...aware that you recently told me you wouldn't mind reading_ Swords and Shields_. Did you ever get around to it?"

The Inquisitor raised an eyebrow. "No...I haven't even gotten a chance to buy a copy yet. I will, eventually. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I got you a present." Cassandra pulled a case full of several books from her back. "From me to you, _Swords and Shields_." She awkwardly cleared her throat. "Just to save you the trouble and to thank you for helping me with the rogue templars and mages..."

"I...thank you," Dawn said, getting up. She took the box from Cassandra and settled it next to the bookshelves, and then turned to smile at the Seeker. "I really appreciate it. I'll try to read these when I can." She paused and pursed her lips. "I thought you said you didn't want me to read them because I'm the Inquisitor."

"Well," Cassandra hesitated, "I...changed my mind. And _please_," she whispered, leaning in, "if you...have any opinions or...anything...feel free to share them with me. I won't tell anyone."

The Inquisitor paused for a moment, then cocked her head to the side. "Of course I will. Why would you..." Her face blanched. "...you...you read the fanfiction, didn't you?"

Cassandra sighed and held her hands behind her. "Yes," she admitted, "I saw Dorian with it and curiosity got the better of me."

Dawn crossed her arms. "...You want me to get into _Swords and Shields_. For _fanfiction_."

"Is that so _wrong_?" Cassandra griped, throwing her hands in the air, "I will read_ Hard in Hightown _if you read this! I promise!"

"Ugh, fine." The Inquisitor paced back and forth, arms still crossed. She clicked her tongue. "How many people have seen that fanfiction?" she asked, not looking Cassandra in the eyes. The seeker sucked in a breath and hesitated.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Cassandra asked warily. The Inquisitor looked at her, and the seeker sighed. "To start with? Iron Bull, Sera, Solas, Cole, Leliana, Josephine, and Cullen."

"_Cullen_?!" Dawn put her face in her hands, moaning. "Oh, no, no...Maker, why? _What have I done to deserve this_? How did this happen?"

Cassandra shrugged and rubbed the back of her neck. "Well...Leliana caught wind of it and had a copy made for her, and then that got to someone else, who showed it to someone else..." Cassandra forced a smile. "It's not so bad! At least it's good fanfiction!"

"Andraste's ass, I'm going to die of embarrassment." The Inquisitor sat down, face still covered by her hands, voice muffled. "Dear Maker, _no_, anyone but Cullen. He'll be a gentleman and never mention it, but he _knows_." She looked back up. "How did he react?"

The warrior hesitated again for a moment. "Well, I didn't actually see him react, but I did hear a distinctive, stupid laugh from his office. I am so sorry, Inquisitor."

"Maker, kill me now and put me out of my misery." Dawn groused. Cassandra sighed.

"Maybe the Maker did this to...bring morale up? Everyone's...never mind. Good day, Inquisitor." Cassandra turned on her heel and left. The Herald sat at her desk, staring down at papers for what seemed like a long time, not comprehending the paperwork. She finally got up.

"A stiff drink is what I need." she muttered, heading down the stairs.

* * *

Dawn had avoided anyone's gaze as she entered the tavern. She quickly took a seat at the bar. Cabot approached, wiping a mug in hand. "What'll you'll have?" he asked casually, glancing at her briefly from the mug. She sighed.

"Something...actually, just give me something with beer. I'm in the mood."

"Can do." The dwarf turned away to prepare the drink. Dawn fumbled through her pockets and pulled out three coppers, and almost had them down on the bar when a hand fell on her shoulder. She looked up to see Iron Bull, with his hand on her shoulder. Dawn looked to her other side to see Sera with the same sort of grin Varric bore earlier.

Iron Bull cleared his throat. "Let me get this one for you, Boss. My treat." The qunari set down nine coppers. "Hey, Cabot, make it three."

"Sure thing." the bartender said, not even looking back at them. Dawn glanced between both Sera and Bull as the sat down. She muttered a thanks and didn't look up as the barman turned back to them, three mugs settled on the bar. The Herald quickly took a swig of it and shook her head, coughing briefly.

"What can I do for you two?" she asked haltingly, frowning. Sera shrugged.

"Nothing at all, great, illustrious, Inqui..." She snorted and began to laugh out loud. Dawn's head hit the bar when Iron Bull joined Sera in laughter, and he patted the Inquisitor's back.

"Oh, come on, this is hilarious, Boss. Live a little."

Cabot cleared his throat. "Might wanna take your face off the bar, Inquisitor. That bar has been in...unsavory situations."

The Herald picked her head up, nose wrinkling. Her face was a bright crimson. Sera giggled. "Look at her, all like a cherry, her face is so red. You're funny, Dawn."

"I'm going to die of embarrassment. Right here at this bar." she grumbled. Bull shook her shoulder.

"Oh, don't be like that, Boss, we're just giving you shit. Come on, take another drink. Being drunk helps."

"You can say that again." Dawn agreed, pulling the mug to her lips. She stared at the mug. "Booze: the Maker's _real_ gift to the world."

"No," Sera argued, "your fanfiction..." She snickered loudly. "Your fanfiction is the _real _gift to the world, Herald. It's so nice to see you're just like everyone else. _Nerd_."

"Maker, I hate you both. Sometimes." The Inquisitor uttered bitterly. Iron Bull beamed.

"We love you, too, Boss."


End file.
